Question Number 1: What do Dad's really want?

What do men really want? It's an age old question. I'm here to answer a version of it: What do Dad's really want?

Dad's generally want to be left alone to
a) scratch themselves in private spots,
b) work in their shop or on their hobby,
c) read the paper (preferably in the bath room) and/or
d) watch the girls at the park or the mall or some other public venue.

Dad's are kind of like caged elephant's. Sure they like to entertain the kids and show off occasionally. Most of the time, though, they just prefer hanging out near the food and getting hosed down by some attractive zoo keeper.

Note to the women in our lives: We were simple creatures when you married us. As father's we are even simpler. No need to guess what's on our mind. Here's what's on our mind: Nothing.

For all of you Mom's looking for advice on how to deal with the "other child" in your life, this blog is for you. I am a full-blooded American man complete with a few extra pounds, an over-inflated sense of my own opinion and a southerner's sense of the absurd. I won't pretend to know the latest pyschological theory for why we are wired the way we are. I believe that if we get our asses out of bed on time in the morning, then we are probably ok. I am hoping that you will come to see the wisdom in that.

I've been on the planet for 45 years, so am old enough to know some things and young enough to think I still know more than I do. I'm gonna push your buttons to be sure. So, don't come here looking for a warm cyber hug. I plan to dish out advice with blunt force opinion. I invite my fellow father's to join in.